As I previously shared, my first marriage was a “train wreck about to happen” due to both of our childhoods. I didn’t trust men and he didn’t trust women. Plus, he was twice divorced which should have been my clue but I was too naive and stubborn.

I was so determined to be the ‘perfect’ wife I completely lost me in the mix. I tried to keep him happy, doing for him, and all the while I forgot about me.

At the same time that I was trying so hard-he was soaking up the privilege of being “waited on” and using it against me. I refer to it now as his “head games”. He would say things or do little things to put me down and make me feel inferior. I didn’t even know it until many years later. Mind you, we were together 25 years, so he had plenty of time to fine tune his style! I was so young and eager to feel love, I thought that was what he was showing me. Oh foolish girl I was!

Along with his abuses toward me was the addictions he enjoyed for himself. I will begin to share more about this next week.

Father, heal the many broken lives and hearts. Touch those who stumble upon this sight, give them encouragement to face each new challenge. Amen

Sandra Sanders boundless trust