Author: Sandra Sanders

I will cry to God Most High, to God who accomplishes all things for me.

Psalm 57:2

Sometimes, our bodies go into hibernation, just like the mighty tree in winter. We don’t feel as if we are growing, blossoming, or flourishing. We cry and feel down. Depression can set in and that brings us down even further. How does a person get past this? What does he/she do and where does he/she turn? I reflect on the scripture above; I cry out to God for help and encouragement. But, sometimes when the depression takes such a stranglehold on us that even this doesn’t help; what do we do then? Seek out a professional!

I have heard many in the news and even within religions speak against seeking help from the use of an anti-depressant; I want to tell you truthfully that without such medicine, I am not sure I would be here today. For sure I wouldn’t be the woman I am! I have suffered depression for many years, and when I turned 35 I accepted a doctor’s diagnosis and a prescription. It was a low dose of something, but it was a medicine. I at first felt ashamed and defeated, as though I had failed in some way. But that same doctor explained that just as I would take a prescription for high blood pressure, it was the same for the clinical depression I was suffering from. So, I began the medicine.

The journey still continues 20 years later. I am so much better; I do not feel the deep darkness and the anxiety that I did back then. Eight years ago I found the strength to move back to my childhood home, leaving an abusive relationship, and continued to seek guidance and healing from God. There were dark days and nights, but I prayed a LOT! I journal-ed and made notes in my Bible.I cried out to God and begged and pleaded that He would remove the pain and the cause of my pain. He did, eventually. It was not an immediate answer; I had to go through many lessons before God had finished and released me from the situation. I had to do this to learn about me and my family. God doesn’t waste anything, not pain, not tears, or silence. He uses everything for our good and if we pay attention we will begin to realize that.

I cried many tears back then; anger, fear, frustration…..but today I am a better person because of what I endured. Boundless Trust was built and strengthened to make me this woman! The woman who can sit down at her laptop and type these words. The woman who can stand in front of a group of people and speak publicly about the situation that brought her to the brink of despair. The woman who can hold her head up high and say, “I am me because God saved me and set me free!”

God never wastes anything, not even the tears. So, when you think you are teetering on the edge and you will never regain firm ground and safety-cry out to Him and hold on tight. Never look back-because yesterday is ‘dead and gone’. The Christian author, Charles Swindoll, once wrote, *”God keeps His promises. It’s a major part of His immutable nature. He doesn’t hold out hope with nice-sounding words, then renege on what He said He would do. God is neither fickle nor moody. And He never lies.”

Dear Lord, help me to remember that it is You who brought me from the darkness and despair. And just as a tree lies dormant in the winter, sometimes my spirit does, too. As you work on me and mold me and shape me; I am often in a dormant stage during these works.  But always, the Spring returns and brings with it new life! And I am new. Thank you Father. Into your hands I commit my life. Amen

In HIm, now and forever;

Sandra Sanders

Boundless Trust

*Taken from Bedside Blessings, by Charles R. Swindoll; copyright 2002, published by J. Countrymen, a division of Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, TN 3721