Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, His good, pleasing and perfect will.

     “Marriage is an empty bowl. You pour yourself into it ounce by ounce. However, it takes love, prayer, listening to God, and committment ……if you take the time to fill it to the brim.”

Sue Cutler

     OMG! LOL!  I could write a book about this topic! After 45 years of marriage, I have a system that finally works. However, through a lot of tears, frustration, and dealing with a man who is somewhat of a workaholic, it took me awhile to figure out how to make our relationship totally work.

I had to make a list of all of his good qualities. Then I had to come to the realization that in his mind this is what he thought: ”I will succeed, no matter the cost.”  Many times the cost tore at our marriage.

       His family was from a different planet than mine, which caused a lot of stress between us. To avoid the controlling women in his life, he worked on the farm.  That was his survival mode. So as you can guess, there were major changes that needed to be made on both sides.

     When we got married, we didn’t have two cents to rub together. In this day and age, couples are living together to see if they want to marry. They work for a few years and have money in the bank.

       Well, I’m a traditional Christian.  Granny always said, ”Why buy the cow if the milk is free.” My man was a shy, bashful, country boy with a huge, tender, heart.  That’s why I fell in love with him. I mattered, we as a couple mattered to him.

       We had a lot in common, even a common denominator that needed a lot of division. We both came into our marriage with baggage, and holes in our hearts.

        My worst nightmare was something that I created. Trust me, Prince Charming fell off of his white horse very quickly. Women in general love romance. During our dating period, he was loving and romantic. However, he had no clue how to keep the romance going.

       My problem was that I was on him saying, ”You don’t do this/that etc!” We struggled through  raising 3 sons and building a farm together.

       I cried out to God and He answered! One day it finally dawned on me. My husband couldn’t fill the holes in my heart….only God could.

       Recently while thumbing through the Psalms I found something that I had scribbled in the margin, 15 years ago. “It’s only God’s Word that preserves me.”

       Things began to improve as God improved me. As I changed, my husband did also. The atmosphere in our home changed, as we both became more appreciative of one another’s history, needs, and personality.

       Also waking up each morning, praising God for this loving man by my side, made a huge difference.

       As I spend time in God’s Word, He fills my heart and mind with truth, peace, and love. From now on, I trust Him. He is the One in charge of our marriage. Now I just rest, and leave everything to Him.

       My Jesus has a spiritual shovel.  Fill the empty holes Lord.  Fill them, Please.

Love,

Granny