LIFE… CHERRIES VS PITS

Do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the
renewing of your mind.
Romans 12:2.

Life. That can be such a complicated word! When I was a kid growing up mine was, well let’s say I enjoyed more of the pits of the fruit than I did the actual fruit! I am the youngest of five children, with nine years between myself and number four, my brother. Plus, there was one more brother and two sisters ahead of him. My mom was a stay-at-home parent until I was five and then she went to work at the local hospital as a practical nurse. My dad was employed fulltime for General Motors; he worked second shift so I really only saw him on weekends once I went to school. That was a good thing because my dad was, well let’s just say the volume at our house was “loud”. He yelled more than he spoke, and there were times when the arguments between he and my mom were just more than I wanted to deal with.

By the time I was nine years old I was the only one at home. My oldest sister married when I was four, my second oldest sister was in college and then on her own, my oldest brother moved away, and my second brother went into the navy right out of high school. I was alone with both parents; hearing the arguments, facing the torment, and surviving the ‘pits’. I never experienced the expression, “I love you” as I grew up. I really never heard my parents say it to each other and they never said it to me! I would hear my mom say it to my sister-in-law after my oldest brother married; I was twelve by then and decided it was something reserved for adults to say to each other. I was just waiting to be old enough for my mom to say it to me; I knew it was something my dad would never say, nor did I ever want him to say it! I had witnessed my parents’ arguments and fights, and the occasional physical abuse; I experienced it first hand when I was fourteen and my dad beat me up because I raised my voice and disagreed with him for screaming at my mom. Did I mention: ‘pits’?

Such was my childhood; and I couldn’t wait to grow up and be old enough to move out on my own. Along with those feelings were the ones of mistrust towards men. If they were anything like my dad, I was pretty sure I didn’t want anything to do with them. Yet, that was what I was craving! A relationship, someone to love me and make me feel special and unique. I was a Christian; I accepted Christ at age fourteen. But I didn’t have a good spiritual relationship with him yet; I was still just a kid really. I was still trying to grow up and figure out life. God, however, stayed close to me and did not let me get too far or get ‘carried away’ with the activities that some teens and young adults find themselves mixed up in. So, in that respect I was not conformed to the world; God had me safe within His loving arms. Not so much that I couldn’t make choices and go astray, but He had placed within me a great set of morals and a conscience that just wouldn’t allow me to lie, cheat, steal, or do the drinking and drug scene. Thank you Lord for your care! I think it would have been easy to get caught up in this lifestyle had I not found God when I was young and if my parents had been more of the ‘party’ scene, which they were not.

I did have moments of poor choices,  or pits, because I would turn a deaf ear upon God. Thankfully, He never turned from me! He was always waiting for my return.

In God, now and forever;
Sandy Sanders,
Boundless Trust