YEEE!! HAAA! Farm Wife Alert!

Susie marries Farmer Thomas. She thinks she is a farm wife because she lived on 15 acres, her dad had a garden, and raised a few beef cattle.

Susie is clueless……………….

I love animals. I was used to cattle, or so I thought. I fed a few and pet a few. So I thought that I was ready to jump in and help my dairy farmer husband. Not!!

The first time he asked me to help him move a cow, I asked him, ”What should I do?” His answer, “Just stand there.” So I stood there and the blasted cow walked right past me. Well you can imagine, a few expletives were thrown in my direction.

I was clueless how to block and gather in loose cattle. I learned, Oh my goodness! Did I ever learn!

As the years went by I became somewhat of a pro. Once half of the herd got out and went down the driveway of our dear neighbors Dale and Ruthie. As they began to drive the herd back across the road, my hubby and grandpa were in the yard. It was up to me to turn the herd in their direction.

SPIT! SPOT! Just like Mary Poppins, I got the job done! Talk about pride! My husband laughed to his friends about my great accomplishment.

As years went by, I became a pro. Whenever I would hear a chain jingle, I was often the first one out the door.

June 3,2014, was my last day of teaching for 30 years. At 4a.m.there was a knock on the door. You guessed it. Smokey the Bear was there with a smile on his face. So from 4 to 5 a.m., Ma, Pa, and Smokey gathered in the herd. Hysterically Pa and I were laughing. “You’re a pro now, Ma. How far you’ve come since 72.”

June 23,2015…we sold the dairy herd.

I felt like Edgar Allen Poe. “Cows Cows, no cows galore, quote the wife, Nevermore.” So I thought my moo-chasing days were over. Think again.

Papa began a small beef herd.

Last week, I’m in the shower… my phone goes off and Pa’s number comes up. I hear my two favorite words. ”Cows Out!” What the???? Can’t find my boots…in a hurry… trying to wade myself through waist high prairie grass.

Guess I’ll be doing this til I’m 90. LOL!! At least I’m not clueless anymore.

SuZq…THE FEARLESS FARMWIFE.